Friday, September 27, 2002

Just found out that my friend, Gladys Hall Coates, aka Mrs Albert Coates, died, not unexpectedly, on Wednesday. She turned 100 in May of this year.

I met Mrs Coates in late Feb. or early March of 1998, around the same time I was dating Lenise. I was introduced to her by another customer/friend, Rebecca Ballentine, a retired librarian. Mrs. Coates was recovering from hip replacement surgery and needed some help around the house. For those who don't already know, I was in the cleaning/janitorial business at that time. From the very beginning, my relationship with Mrs Coates was different from any with my other customers. Most people were happy to outline what they wanted done and then would stay out of the way, either in a different room, or out of the house altogether. Mrs. Coates though had a definate opinion on how each task in her home was to be done. This caused some friction at first to say the least. Eventually I did resign myself to the fact that I would be under close scrutiny much of the time and got used to it, more or less. The other big difference was that Mrs Coates expected for her money that I would do pretty much anything she would ask rather than a set routine of duties. This also took some getting used to, but was also a bit of fun or a change of pace on occasion. I would often be called on to weed the periwinkle in the front of the house, or to drive Mrs Coates to the grocery store. She had no washing machine, so I found that fairly regularly I was taking her sheets and towels home to wash.

None of this yet gives a true picture of her personality. Other than being something of an exacting taskmaster, she was rather kind and generous. She would always inquire about my well being, my wife after I was married, our search for a house, and our vacations. I was quite honored to have her as a guest at my wedding. She was very well known in the community among those who have been in Chapel Hill for long. She played the piano and had written some songs. She enjoyed botany, history, politics, poetry, Shakespeare, and religion. And of course, she was a great reader.

In the later part of 2000, at 98 years of age, Mrs Coates mind started weakening. She would become confused a bit on what things she had told me and what things I had already done. By this time I had formes a bit of a routine, so I did continue to do pretty much the same things for her as I had been doing. The close scrutiny dropped off quite a bit though, especially as her strength was faltering as well. when I returned from Christmas break in Jan of 2001, she was convinced I had moved away and hadn't told her. Around late summer 2001 her neighbors and friends talked her into hiring a full time assistant. A charming woman named Jackie Gray. Unfortunately for Jackie, Mrs Coates' senility hightened some of her less desirable qualities, so she, Jackie, had to endure some meanness which I hadn't seen. Through no fault of my own, however, Mrs C. kept a fairly positive attitude toward me fot the rest of the time I worked for her. My friendship and work relationship with Mrs. C. ended on January 16th of this year. Those who were looking after her and her finances decided she needed more full time medical help and needed to cut back elsewhere. Of course I had been pretty much out of the cleaning business other than servicing a few existing customers, so I wasn't surprised.

I had always meant to go back to check in on her from time to time, but somehow never got around to it. Death is not something that scares me, but I don't find it attractive either. I do plan on attending the funeral next week. I can't really say she was taken before her time, but I do look forward to renewing our acquaintance in heaven someday.

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